Transparent Monday Part 3

The brain is such a tricky thing to control. my spirits have been down lately. I believe I'm more so upset that I allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of being in a Godly relationship and turns out that things aren't exactly what I thought they would be. Nonetheless, I was warned during the whole process of me stepping out on a limb and just going with the flow. God gave me signs early on and I decided to ignore them and give it a probability. I just dislike opening up myself to someone and letting my guards down, and they turn out to be someone I didn't believe they were. I simply don't understand how people can just do whatever they want and don't apologize or acknowledge how you feel about the situation. I am trying real hard not to turn into this woman that doesn't ever want to date again because I know that all GUYS aren't the same. I tend to constantly get the ones with potential because I envision the person they could be. That's why you aren't supposed to fall for potential. That's the thing about life and love, it is all a leap of faith and learning opportunities. You don't know when you'll fail and you don't know who you will fall in love with and that's the scary role. I think that's why we all fear the unknown. I don't fear love, I do fear to fall in love with the wrong person continuously because I love hard and very genuine. I'm just over not receiving the same opinion in return. I am a hopeless romantic, and I think I set high expectations, but then again, I'm only going off of what God told me love is. While, I'm proceeding through this process of healing I'm refocusing my energy to making sure I guard my heart the right way, and not turning into some cold person that hates men lol. It's real tough because I am an over thinker and my brain will have me thinking, that I'll never fall in love again because of some of the relationships I've been in. The beauty of the things that I went through God has granted me strength not to rely on my sorrow or frustration too much. He constantly puts me in a situation now where I'll encounter that one person who praises me on the things I doubt about myself-they will encourage me about something that I've been stressing over all week. I have so much to offer, and God is letting me know that he bears some more respectable things in store for me. He desires me to be able to realize that I don't always have to rely on people and that I need to depend on him more and trust him in each season he puts me in. I am really trying hard to follow up with his design for my life. If that means that I possess to endure this weird feeling of sadness and frustration, then I will take God always. He obtains the glory in the end and he's never left me disappointed. In God's word he states his sign of protection, and I always want his confirmation before anything else. My SOUL knows exactly what to do to cure me from my current place, and my mind will silence itself when I allow the negative things to vanish and cover my mind in God's word

Quote:

Everything heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad times don't last.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

- Psalms 34:18